The Roller Coaster Ride

We had hoped to post updates on Raven on a regular basis, yet each time we began, our intended news would flip upside-down. We get new and different test results along with new and different prognosis every couple of weeks. To say we are on a roller coaster ride is putting it mildly. This ride feels like no one is in charge and we are in a continuous loop of ups and downs. I just ran across a Chinese saying, "One joy shatters a thousand griefs." How true those words are for us right now. Raven has had some incredibly good days. There have been days where he actually ran and played like a puppy. Funny, we are afraid to talk about it because we may hex him. The good days are great and the rest are just awful. He has had another sonogram and now "they" say the tumor is not where it was and maybe it can be removed. Wonder why we aren't jumping for joy? We were told the tumor was inoperatble and that it was "most likely" a transitional cell carsinoma of the bladder. We were told that its location prohibited it from being safely removed. We have lived with that information for over a month. Now we are expected to quickly forget that information and look at the new information and be happy? If the mass can be removed, we want that. But, where is the time to adjust and process the new information? Make a new plan? Wish, hope, dream, that this will all turn out to be just a rough patch and he will be just fine? We hear things like well these tests just aren't easily read and anything can change the pictures. He could move during the test, or have gas, or ????????? So, ok why didn't you tell us that in the first place??

He has gone through antibiotic meds and cancer meds (not chemo). He has been poked and prodded and he has hung in there for us. He is "RAVEN" and he has a strong spirit. Thank goodness for that because it has helped us stay sane, we hope. So here we are today and today is just an ok day for him. Last night was awful! We both feel so helpless at times. He can't tell us what is going on and that is so frustrating!

Saturday we meet with a surgeon to get his opinion. But, in the end it's just another opinion and the hard decisions will be left up to us. Allopathic medicine is such a flawed system. Are we ever going to get it straight? The doctors are trying, the system just doesn't work!
Enough time spent on our feelings.

Raven says, "I sure LOVE all those pieces of goat cheese you give me. I don't like whats in the middle of them, but the outside is sure yummy!"

His life goes on and we are so grateful for everyday....even the yucky ones!